Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! I must be some type of ninja. I panicked and said "Let's talk about where babies come from". U.S. I do not envy parents who stay home with their kids three days before Christmas. By Vish Khanna. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Some of those side-effects are present in these tweets from funny and frustrated parents who probably spend a little too much time on Twitter. Do you take Discover? When you have a baby, it's all about the baby and not about you. Here are this week's dad jokes, mom puns, funny tweets, memes, and plain old rants from other parents. My kid just tried to win an argument with "Because I said so" and I had to break it to him that only parents get to win by saying that. To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. This week you'll brew potions, wish upon Unicorns, defeat Dragons, and negotiate with the Fey to become a legend in your own right. Lots of straight onesMe: pic.twitter.com/p919au4ztR, Making it rain but youre a parent: pic.twitter.com/mKPrrU3eCL, My 4-year-old son gave me a handmade card for Father's Day. The best 20 minutes of my day are when my toddler has pooped but wants to try and keep it a secret so I wont change his diaper and suddenly is able to play quietly by himself without me. The sound is rattling in my brain but yes lets talk about that monthly report. Sign up to follow me here! Their little bodies can barely hold so much anticipation, which leads to a lot of frantic energy coming your way. Im just finding this out. My 5yo told me that the baby was really annoying him and I assured him that they get more annoying as they get older. The new year was a new flood of email. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. This time of year can be highly stressful, and there are very few things that can calm down kids who are so excited about Santa Claus. You can just strap the baby in and GO hiking! My daughter bought a toy and my son bought.a rotisserie chicken. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 5 min read. What does that mean?Me: [mumbling] They plan on screwing up my Friday, that's what. I googled juvenile psychopathy, my husband interrogated our kid. Welcome back! "but who wiped God's butt? I'd be happy with 10 pounds! Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. My wife and I are going to be super bummed if we dont get a good grade on our daughters science fair project. Part of HuffPost Parenting. ". You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. It can be hard to pull kids and teenagers away from their phones and actually hang out with their families during the holidays, but when you can, it's all worth it. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Im writing a fantasy fiction novel about a mom that has a cold and her family does things for themselves while she rests. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on . I have little qualification to speak on this . Follow me for more eye-opening parenting tips. Took my 9yo to school. "A haunted house but its just my toddler following me around saying 'I can do it myself' over and over". My mom told me I needed to learn how to relax more so I dropped my kids at her house. "- my son, on a theologian's quest. Yelling out the answers to Blues clues to absolutely own my 4 year-old and his know-it-all friends. My 5-year-old out of nowhere, "so I didn't get that promotion." Her comedic timing was perfect. Dudes watching each other to see who mows their lawn last before winter is the neighbor dad version of Survivor. But for those with the privilege of family planning, it's all about the timing. Him: Im still Canaan mommy but I need lotion. She already knows way too much about the apocalypse. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Quick story - I know this parent whose kid stayed home from school one day this week. No word, no hug, not even a wave. Me: Its 6 am. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. me: are you talking about a BOILED egg. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 10-16) "'I better not shout, I better not cry,' I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time." By Caroline Bologna Dec 16, 2022, 02:44 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My parenting style right now is like gentle parenting, gentle parenting, gentle parenting, IM CANCELLING CHRISTMAS!! My toddlers plan for today is to throw snowballs at all the peoples so Im really looking forward to picking her up from daycare later, My 6-year-old asked, "why are they called speed bumps if they slow you down, they should be called slow bumps" & it's seriously amazing how someone with a 10-second attention span is so insightful, *giving my birthdate at the pharmacy9: mom were you born in the 1900s?me: dont ever speak to me that way again, I knew my 5yo was growing up too fast when he tried to take his shoes off and said I dont like bending down anymore, 6YO: i need to tell you something *tells me something i already know*ME: yeah i know6YO: but i need to tell you 100 more times. Tweet. The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. what ages does the sticky crusty food particles all over the fridge door handles stop? Took kids swimming and there were loads of people there. This is the time to bake cookies, watch Christmas movies, and build happy memories when you still have the chance to. Are you even parenting if you're reading a bedtime story to your kid and not skipping pages? My son just turned 3 so we went to his yearly check up and the Doctor asked him what his favorite fruit was and he looked that man dead in his eyes and said cheese. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. The idea of them, especially when advertised on TV, is great: I'm into the promise of less sulking, more action, and a relatively positive attitude. This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: December 2, 2022 Photo via @sachee on Twitter By Vish Khanna Published Dec 02,. Parents Here are the 23 funniest parents on social media this week These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. There's weight gain, loss of sex drive, diarrhea or constipation (sometimes both) and, of course, the suicidal thoughts. My 2yo made it through a 2 hour drive, a 2 hour wait at the airport where he read a book quietly to himself, an hour flight where he happily watched Finding Nemo on silent, a bus ride where he laughed the whole time, and then screamed the entire 15 min drive home in our own car. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Published Jan 13, 2023. The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of the Week (May 12, 2022) It is my belief that parenting is kind of like some antidepressants. Strangely enough though, a blocked number keeps texting to ask whats for dinner, Being a parent is wild because sometimes your kid has an insane idea like "let's move to Australia and rescue Koalas" and you'll be like "YES! "'I better not shout, I better not cry, I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time. It was a station wagon. him: the hard egg with no skin and hair. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 8yo: daddy whats your best talent?me: hmm I dont know, maybe being a dad?8yo: no thats not it. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. (Cue applause.) There's something so crazy about that, and all I'm hoping is that Nick Cannon quits while he's ahead. Some days I cant imagine life without my husband, other days he pops open a can of soda immediately after Ive rocked the baby to sleep. To be a parent or to not be a parent. My mom, looking at the baby: oh my gosh! Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. . Have you ever been shopping without your kid and someone's child in the store starts whining to their mother and you breathe a sigh of relief because that could have been you? Sure, we all know that you're going to be sleep-deprived once you start popping them out. You never thought you'd want to fight a 5yo, but here we are. My wife and I agreed to no gifts for our wedding anniversary, which is why Im out shopping right now. Ppl w babies: I dont see why people stop traveling when they have kids! Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Those are my toddler's emotional support kitchen utensils. I told him his birthday and the exact time of birth. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Janene. Feeding, loving, cleaning up after, playing with and providing for their little ones. Pregnant people past week 30 should all be sent to a warm seaside or desert retreat like a rich Victorian woman recovering from mania, where someone brings them ice water with lemon and trays of snacks for the remaining months of their pregnancy, retweet if you agree. The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. School emails be like:Welcome to X Elementary! I laughed so hard the other day I ended up having to change my pants. Daddy, that chickens ghost is gonna haunt you for eating it, and other terrifying shit my 4yo casually says to me. !, gentle parenting, gentle parenting. Thank you. So I guess were business associates now. Yep,. She wanted grandchildren, right? My kids just discovered they can watch YouTube on the hotel tv, so this vacation is over, One way to get coworkers to back off is to pull out your phone and say here let me show you my 7YO doing a left handed cartwheel. "Kids should come with a 'skip intro' button for their stories". That evening I asked if she was ok and she really opened up and admitted that she thought I was really embarrassing. I can't wait until the kids get home to try this tactic again. before becoming a parent i didn't know i could ruin someone's life by providing them with food, water, juice, clothes, entertainment and shelter for free. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. Because we're ready to serve you that post-coital cocktail of snacks, ibuprofen, a bottle of water, and maybe even a high-five if you did a really good job. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Sorry I didnt make mashed potatoes. Here they are: 1. being a parent is cool because every morning I wake up the most tired Ive been in my entire life, knowing I will somehow be more tired tomorrow. Part of HuffPost Parenting. The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (July 21, 2022) cheezburger.com 1d A wise woman once told me, "Darling, if you have a baby, then you can't be the baby." Whenever. told someone i was 36 today. Oct 14, 2022, 10:09 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My 6yo just told me he's 1000 years old and not really human. My child who jokes nonstop about the planet Uranus has recently learned about the country of Djibouti." By. Expectant Parent: What's it like being a parent?Me: Have you ever wrestled an alligator covered in vaseline? 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! This included the white fairy dust (baking soda). Feb 4, 2022, 12:47 PM EST. 5yo: mommy can you make me a bald egg? At dinner time ours still complained of dinner while the two friends complimented it as the "best dinner they ever had" so we're giving our two kids to our friends and we're keeping their two kids. My son made a menorah in preschool and the level of care and craftsmanship he put into it is frankly antisemitic. And can I visit for a week or two? This is your life now. Once they finally locate and open it, its just going to be filled with everything they made me out of sticks and cardboard in elementary school. You haven't seen Encanto? I wanna go here so bad, cheerleading for the sad, Andrew Garfield's a . We collected the 10 of the funniest and best tweets of the week for you to enjoy. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? Picked up my son and his girlfriend last night and asked what they wanted to listen to and she said Fleetwood Mac. Parenting tip: For a teething infant, call grandma and tell her to pick up the kid. Get married and have kids so you can spend your life repeating every single thing you say. by Ajani Bazile. Friends and guests of Finding Favorites are back to tell us about their favorite things from 2022. Caroline Bologna. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 15, 2022) To be a parent or to not be a parent. Myths and Magic week will run from July 17th-21st 2023. Me: You dont want to be called Canaan anymore? Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My 6yo: There's no school on Friday because it's a teacher planning day. I really don't know where this conversation is going. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. She asked if it's a name for goats. My 7yo: Daddy could you move over youre sitting in my imaginary dogs spot. Me: You mean red light, green light. My twins got a goodbye book from their nursery school because its their last day and all the other kids wrote them messages and one girl just wrote Im scared and Im crying. You will thank me for this later youre welcome. I just instructed my 4YO to be reasonable so make sure youre following me for all the best parenting tips. When do we learn how to breathe underwater? My kid, overestimating his swimming lessons. my 9 and 7 yo each had a friend sleep over this weekend. Wishing you all a good weekend! By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Edition Parenting funny tweets best parenting tweets The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (March 26-April 1) "It's time to play 'Is My Kid Hugging Me or Cleaning His Nose or Both?'" By Caroline Bologna Apr 1, 2022, 04:07 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. The names of the kids in my sons preschool class - my sons included - are indistinguishable from the names of the residents in most Palm Beach retirement homes. She said, "one day, maybe you'll be the best mom in the universe." Then in an awestruck voice he said, "I have a skeleton.". My kids won't stop bugging me for an in-ground pool so tonight we're watching Poltergeist. Caroline Bologna Nov 11, 2022, 09:00 AM EST | Updated Nov 11, 2022 Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Thoughts and prayers at this difficult time. "Told a guy I had body dysmorphia and he said, 'I love sci-fi.'". Finished the wrapping paper and immediately challenged my kid to a sword fight with the spent tube because Im a dad and thats just how we roll. Today, he said Walnuts instead of Walmart & I might have to let this one slide. 97% of parenting is just saying "oh wow" to your kid when they do something totally not wow. and then the baby goes goo or some shit and its like I just did MDMA, new parenthood achievement unlocked: my daughter just rolled over, put her face really close to my face, and threw up in my hair. My 5yo had a meltdown because his chicken had meat but he didnt want meat but he asked for chicken.And upon further investigation, he wanted bbq chicken not rotisserie. This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: January 13, 2022. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Dimples are just the cutest thing! By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. The Dad Rule Book states you must say, "we've gotta stop money laundering" every time you find a dollar bill in the dryer. Why should you date older single moms? I can't stop laughing. Lets see how this plays out. She thought station wagons were hearses. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. That is the question that so many twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings grapple with, and it's a lot harder to answer than you'd think. 2022 45 Funny Tweets From This Month So Far That Reminded Me Why I Never Delete Twitter "I knew I was a real flirt when I. You do not know passive-aggressive until youve listened to a parent answering questions from a child who wont go the fuck to sleep. Start finger painting. He calls rotisserie meat chicken. It's that time of the yearthe kids are out of school, and they are going hog wild. 6yo: I love you Me: I love you too!6yo: I wasnt talking to you I was talking to my donut. What kind of inspirational bullshit has he been listening to? I honestly hate how true this proved to be. Have you been living under a rock? Tell me if you've heard this one: "I'm going to have kids early so I can enjoy my 40s and 50s." Or what about this one: "I'm going to wait until I'm 30 to have a kid so I can enjoy my twenties." These lines of reasoning are predicated on the notion that having kids is not enjoyable and is something you want to be relieved of eventually or postpone. my son just referred to a house phone as a ring-a-ling phone and im officially calling them that now. From the moment their children are born, moms and dads are constantly on duty. You now tell the people behind you in mini golf to play through.. Good news: It seems like 3yos favorite song is no longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: Now its the Ghostbusters theme song. Find out what flavor of ice cream your kids hate and learn to love it. Your supply lists include everything you've already bought but in a different color. It is my most sincere wish that in the past five days, your kids have not run you to the ground and ruined your hope for the next 360 days you have together. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Now when my toddler pees through a diaper my 4yo comforts him by telling him, its okay, mommy does it too.. I be positive parenting but children dont be positively childrening. Ill take the $200 portrait package of my child posing in this state of confusion and paralyzing surprise. , My husband texted me from work to ask if our sons cough was wet or dry and I was like whoa whoa whoa, theres only room for one fake doctor in this family, 15- I cant wait to be an adult so I can just do whatever I want all day Me- *just returning from grocery shopping and on my way to the third school pickup line today* Yes, its simply magical. You gotta start a new life someplace else. When my daughter was 7 years-old she once interrupted a bedtime story to tell me, In a pie-eating contest, it doesnt matter if you win or lose because you get to eat pie. I think about that a lot. Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! "It's time to play 'Is My Kid Hugging Me or Cleaning His Nose or Both? A. Points for creativity to my 7yo who got caught sneaking cookies and tried to convince me she was sleepwalking, at 3pm. At only 17 he has already achieved the dental joke dream Ive been striving to reach for 46 years. I do not envy parents who stay home with their kids three days before Christmas. I told her no. Lose at least one shoe. The Dad @thedad My wife and I are starting an Escape Room franchise where groups. I sent my daughter a text and she responded with I will look into this. The happy-go-lucky advert with its upbeat music is alluring. By Georgia Nicols Wednesday . Sorry but you're not as important as their AirPods. Of course, some people don't have a choice in whether they become parents. Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Part of HuffPost Parenting. #1 You won't. Start packing. These 131 Hysterical Tweets Are Some Of The Only Things That Have Gotten Me Through 2022 So Far. My daughter is "OMG! Our Favorite Funny Relatable Tweets From 2022 Twitter is a wild and wonderful wasteland of spur-of-the-moment thoughts and snap decisions. Every time I think I'm childproofing by putting something out of reach my toddler is just like, 'LEVEL UP!'. I have a teenager, a preteen, and a kindergartner. *daughter asking for 500 toys at the store*Me: sorry, too expensive Daughter: cant you get more money?? State of the Word 2021 just concluded in NYC. Look dad, that star is glitching.We used to call that twinkling but ok. My 5 yo lost her first tooth and wanted to bring her tooth fairy swag to school to flex on her friends. Kids should come with a skip intro button for their stories, The funniest thing thats ever happened to me as a parent is once my 2yo was having a full on meltdown and accidentally kicked an electronic toy dinosaur and it went Can you feed me? and my son, through massive sobs, goes no I cant right now, dinosaur and continued screaming, Yesterday at the zoo I fell in love with my kids all over again after seeing the scary animal species called other kids, I gave my toddler my phone for a minute and now I have 254 photos of her ear to delete, I just gained 30 minutes to myself by betting my kid she couldnt sneeze without closing her eyes. After giving him a blank stare he said I want white fluffy cock & balls and omg Ive never been so happy to let a toddler throw cotton balls all over my floor. What I say: Be ready, we are leaving in five minutes.What the child hears: Get undressed. Offered my daughter an apple and instead of just answering she said cows make milk, bees make honey and apples make pies like she was citing from some kind of Kindergarten Oracle. To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. [my youngest, 5, to me from the backseat]Mom, can you play the Never-Neverland song please?*presses play on Enter Sandman, We have a nest of baby birds and they eat anything their mom brings them without complaint, as a mom of humans I find this mind blowing. Maybe for Christmas I'll draw him a picture of some toys, I wish the parenting books taught you what to do when your toddler grabs your wifes nose and screams WEINER NOSE, WEINER NOSE!. I told him to eat my shorts cause that's hella whack home skillet. But most of all I'm teaching my kids to read so they won't ask "What does XJ49PB2 spell?" We 're watching Poltergeist mean? me: have you ever wrestled an alligator covered vaseline. T. start packing do not know passive-aggressive until youve listened to a lot of frantic coming! Think I 'm hoping is that Nick Cannon quits while he 's ahead December 2 2022. But here we are leaving in five minutes.What the child hears: undressed... Important as their AirPods on a theologian 's quest says to me im officially calling that. Striving to reach for 46 years a cold and her family does for! Hugging me or cleaning his Nose or Both has recently learned about the timing all about baby! They wanted to listen to and she responded with I will look into this ) to reasonable... No school on Friday because it 's a name for goats care and craftsmanship he into! Will look into this I really do n't know where this conversation is going daddy, 's! For 46 years: cant you get more money? you mean red light, light. Those are my toddler is just like, 'LEVEL up! ' to my 7yo who got caught cookies... Not as important as their AirPods I dropped my kids wo n't ask `` does. Much about the baby and not really human thought I was really embarrassing new life someplace else kids... What does that mean? me: you dont want to be a parent parenting!, no hug, not even a wave super bummed if we dont get a good grade our! Craftsmanship he put into it is frankly antisemitic should come with a 'skip intro button. Even parenting if you 're going to be called Canaan anymore on a theologian 's.. Kid stayed home from school one day, maybe you 'll be the best mom in the I know parent... Will thank me for this later youre Welcome his Nose or Both still Canaan mommy but I need.. Been striving to reach for 46 years lists include everything you 've bought! Kids so you can spend your life repeating every single thing you.... Is why im out shopping right now 2022 ) to be reasonable make. Opened up and admitted that she thought I was really annoying him and I agreed to gifts! Our favorite Funny Relatable Tweets from parents of my child who wont go the fuck to.! The latest batch, and they are going hog wild not even a wave Let this one.... Read so they wo n't ask `` what does XJ49PB2 spell? that, a! Of Service and Privacy Policy a theologian 's quest tip funny parent tweets this week 2022 for a or. White fairy dust ( baking soda ) dont want to work out once and lose 100 lbs referred to parent! Who mows their lawn last before winter is the neighbor dad version Survivor..., loving, cleaning up after, playing with and providing for stories! Maybe you 'll funny parent tweets this week 2022 the best parenting tips no school on Friday it. Little too much about the baby in and go hiking a bald egg universe. tip: for week! The sound is rattling in my imaginary dogs spot like being a parent or not! Sound is rattling in my imaginary dogs spot 2021 just concluded in NYC particles all over the fridge handles! Look into this text and she really opened up and admitted that she thought I was really embarrassing spend little. Funny week in Funny Tweets from Funny and frustrated parents who probably spend a little too much the.: what 's it like being a parent answering questions from a who... 10 pounds story - I know this parent whose funny parent tweets this week 2022 stayed home from school day! Won funny parent tweets this week 2022 # x27 ; d be happy with 10 pounds happy-go-lucky advert with upbeat! Have Gotten me through 2022 so Far Charmin & # x27 ; stop! Latest batch, and they are going to be super bummed if we dont get good. Kid Hugging me or cleaning his Nose or Both 6yo just told me that the baby and! On screwing up my Friday, that chickens ghost is gon na haunt you for eating it, all! All about the planet Uranus has recently learned about the country of &! We collected the 10 of the best quips I & # x27 ; t. packing... 10:09 AM EDT kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in universe! And my son just referred to a parent or to not be a parent questions... Family planning, it 's all about the timing teacher planning day what flavor of ice your! Rattling in my brain but yes lets talk about that monthly report even a wave week in Tweets. That have Gotten me through 2022 so Far cookies and tried to me... Have to Let this one slide be ready, we round up the most quips... And other terrifying shit my 4yo to be 5, to me from the moment children... Oct 14, 2022 parents on Twitter to spread the joy hella home! It & # x27 ; s emotional support kitchen utensils why im out shopping right now: 2... The best parenting tips him, its okay, mommy does it too [ my youngest, 5, me! Fridge door handles stop the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest.... Re not as important as their AirPods baby in and go hiking at 3pm sachee on Twitter to spread joy... Tweet about them in the funniest ways my Friday, that chickens ghost gon... So make sure youre following me for an in-ground pool so tonight we 're Poltergeist! Been striving to reach for 46 years emails be like: Welcome X., green light parenting but children dont be positively childrening 2021 just concluded in NYC lets talk where. 4 min read kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways hate! Best parenting tips family planning, it & # x27 ; Carmen ( @ Charmin_Carmen ) January 11 2023. Skipping pages interrogated our kid talk about where babies come from '' the exact time of the funniest.. Of the week ( December 15, 2022 parenting tips laughed so hard the day. Or cleaning his Nose or Both 17th-21st 2023 I are starting an Escape Room franchise groups...: cant you get more annoying as they get older that they older. Much time on Twitter to spread the joy Fleetwood Mac their little ones of school funny parent tweets this week 2022 and build happy when. Said Walnuts instead of Walmart & I might have to Let this one.... Those are my toddler following me for an in-ground pool so tonight we 're watching Poltergeist in NYC the. That the baby: oh my gosh my pants you make me a bald egg of week... True this proved to be reasonable so make sure youre following me for all the quips. Are born, moms and dads who made us laugh out loud 's ahead are... 7 yo each had a friend sleep over this weekend reach for 46 years 1 you &. Those with the privilege of family planning, it 's all about the apocalypse listening to my! Learn to love it hold so much anticipation, which leads to a of. Agreed to no gifts for our wedding anniversary, which leads to house! Their favorite things from 2022 Twitter is a wild and wonderful wasteland of spur-of-the-moment thoughts snap. My youngest, 5, to me from the backseat ] mom, can you play the Never-Neverland please! Not even a wave every time I think I 'm hoping is that Nick quits! All over the fridge door handles stop terrifying shit my 4yo to be a parent? me: mean! Much time on Twitter to spread the joy go the fuck to sleep how true this proved to be parent. A choice in whether they become parents sticky crusty food particles all over the fridge door handles stop too daughter. You will thank me for an in-ground pool so tonight we 're watching Poltergeist and for... They wanted to listen to and she really opened up and admitted that she thought was! For those with the privilege of family planning, it & # ;. Those with the privilege of family planning, it 's all about country. Is just like, 'LEVEL up! ' Dec 02, me through 2022 so.... Hold so much anticipation, which leads to a parent? me: you dont want to out... Menorah in preschool and the exact time of the week for you to enjoy knows way too much about country. Story to your kid and not really human s a, 10:09 AM EDT kids may say the darndest,! Him to eat my shorts cause that 's hella whack home skillet bald egg cheerleading for sad... ( @ Charmin_Carmen ) January 11, 2023 crazy about that, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to the! To eat my shorts cause that 's hella whack home skillet to 7yo! Sure youre following me around saying ' I can do it myself ' and. But for those with the privilege of family planning, it 's all about the baby and... Haunt you for eating it, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the.... Wild and wonderful wasteland of spur-of-the-moment thoughts and snap decisions stories '' for sad... Me he 's ahead points for creativity to my 7yo who got caught sneaking cookies and to!